I am not sure why am I even writing this post, but I guess that’s the only way out for my restlessness. I won’t deny if someone accuses me of being very emotional person as we all are emotional in one way or other. Some just display their feelings for others to explore, some just keep them tightly locked inside and some don’t realize their emotional quotient till something strong hits them.
I am not an attention seeker but I love those who are close to my heart, whether they are my family or my friends. It hardly matter if we share the same or international zip codes. Family is family and friends are friends. Both for me are my life. To some extent I have to admit that I always like to be surrounded by them. If I can’t meet them in person then a phone call serves as a savior.
I can’t bear the vacuum, If someone to whom I talk almost everyday or not … or see them on chat quite frequently or not (hardly matters if we meet or not), decides to go on a trip or out of any xyz reason can’t be in touch with me for few days. I can’t help but literally count the days… at times count multiple times in just one day. Even if I am busy working and don’t have time for anything throughout the day then also in the back of my mind it keeps on banging me hard. And I feel as if the life is a book, a book full of words that suddenly opens up to a blank page in the middle. I feel lost.
I guess I get so accustomed to their presence in my life that a tiny change in the scene hits me a hard. Which shall not be the case and I know this and moving on gets a little hard for me. I try and try to not get bothered about such a thing but it’s been years and I have seen no improvement.
Couple of my very close friends who stay in India (we don’t even share same international boundaries) are on a leisure trip / business trip and I do know when will they be back but my heart is restless. And to top it with cherry my family planned a vacation and gonna be away for few days. Now again suffering from same vacuum syndrome.
Darn it… I need to move on… any suggestions? Remember keeping myself busy is not working out for me.:(